Danu Changes Her Mind About PigZone
In a tiny bedroom, two birds spend the afternoon on a trendy chair, one conversing, one cleaning himself.
Dreyer: And so in No Logo, author Naomi Klein talks about how 'superbrands' like Nike are taking over our collective consciousness. We not only think in terms of branding, but are seldom even able to see an item that doesn't have a brand name slapped on it.
Sjöström: *preen preen preen*
Dreyer: Naturally Klein worries about the political power of such huge corporations.
Sjöström: *preenity PREEN preen*
Dreyer: But I've always thought about the way it affects the individual. You know--the fact that we see so much of our self worth in the way that we either do or do not identify with a particular brand. Isn't brand identity just another form of modern vanity?
Sjöström: *PrEeN preen (preen)*
Dreyer: I mean, what does that do to our ability to see ourselves as autonomous beings capable of making wise decisions? As individually beautiful and meaningful outside of our consumerist choices?
Sjöström: Speaking of choices, did you see those store-brand seed treat sticks we got yesterday? YUCK! I want Super Gold Pet Bird (tm) brand again. Those treat sticks make me feel cool. Good about myself. Like a bird on the move.
Dreyer: I think you're missing the point.
Danu has returned from a meetup of ABJP (Asian Ball Jointed Pig) enthusiasts, where she intended to protest the copying of Øïnks Super Pigfie dolls by the newcomer company, PigZone. She arrives at home with her protest sign, her camera, and her Notpig doll.
Danu: Whew!
DW: Hey, Danu. How was the meetup?
Danu: It was great! I got about a million pictures!
DW: Really? How many pictures can a pink plastic camera like that with no working parts actually hold?
Danu: Oh, about as many as my imagination can remember.
DW: Aww...that's sweet.
Danu: Unless I have it on the highest resolution. If it's on five megapixels, it only holds ten pictures.
DW: That doesn't make any sense.
Danu: Maybe not, but I got pictures anyway. Want to see?
DW: That's...great. I think. Say, where's Sir Edwin Valomyr?
Danu: Oh, he and my new--um, they're downstairs.
DW: New!? NEW!? Danu, did you buy another pigfie?
Danu: I'll just go get them--I mean, him--out of the entry hall.
Enter Tinker, Danu's roommate. With a...is that a saw?
Tinker: Danu? You back yet? Hey, there's one of those resin ball pigs.
Tinker: You and me, pig. Staring contest. Now.
Strangely, the pig does not blink. This may be due to the fact that it is inanimate, or to its lack of a "tender pig" faceplate.
Tinker: Blink, pig, or I'll saw your face off.
Danu: Oh, hey, Tinker. I was just downstairs. Do you need anything?
DW: Danu, what's behind your back?
Danu: Tinker? Hey! How's it going? Did you need something?
Tinker: Oh, yeah. I was wondering if you had any industrial-strength cleaner. There's some blood--I mean, some rust on this saw, and I need to get it off. Say, what's that behind your back?
Tinker: Isn't this one of those PigZone dolls you were protesting? Why would you buy one of these?
DW: Yeah, Danu, isn't that exactly the doll that you said should be taken off the market earlier today? And now you bought one?
Danu: Aww, come on, guys. I just saw its face and it was so cute! It might be a blatant copy, but how could I resist a little face like this!? Besides, maybe it's not a copy after all. I mean, it sort of looks different.
Tinker: I think you're a little "different."
Danu: The point IS that we can't judge a product on name alone! We have to judge it on its individual merits! And on how much cash we have in our pockets when we first see it.
Tinker: Right. I'm outta here. I'm going to see if there's any Comet (tm) under the sink with which I can clean my saw, and I'm borrowing your Star Wars (tm) Lego (tm) Officially Licensed X-wing set, and I'm going to lock myself in my room and work on it and stay away from you and your ball pigs.
Danu: They're Asian Ball Jointed Pigs.
Tinker: Whatever.
Dreyer: Can't you see the drama of individual versus corporate identity playing out right in front of our eyes?! You mustn't fall into its trap!
Sjöström: Say, is this an official Super Gold Pet Bird (tm) Cage Liner in our cage? I don't want to be pooping on some cheap imitation. I mean, that's just not me.
Dreyer: Just Do It.
Sjöström: I'll try. I just have to Think Different.
Dreyer: Get N or Get Out.
Sjöström: Sanka. It's Everything You Love About Coffee.
Dreyer: You really just don't know when to stop talking, do you?