Danu Goes Militant in Preparation for a Meetup

 

It's afternoon in a small quiet house. Two birds enjoy a heated conversation in the air conditioning.
Dreyer: And so in Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville argued that too much intellectual freedom would eventually cause education and the arts to disintegrate because both would cater to the lowest common denominator.
Sjöström: Why?
Dreyer: You see, true democracy allows everyone in a country to speak out, not just the most capable, and allowing--
Sjöström: What's a denominator?
Dreyer: Well, it's a--
Sjöström: Can we vote on its meaning? Can it mean, 'I get free seed treat sticks now?'

Hours from her first pigfie meet-up, where she will have organic soda and squid cakes at a kitsch restaurant with other Asian Ball-Jointed Pig owners, Danu is hard at work making something.

And her ABJP, Sir Edwin Valomyr III, is dressed to the nines in his limited edition GreenFashionElfSparkle outfit that has arrived this morning from a seller on eBay. He is poised to meet the resin pig to whom he has pledged his undying love (via email.) She has stolen his nonexistent resin heart. Will she like the jaunty (and yet not too masculine) bow on his sexy Japanese trousers? Or will she think they look like a glorified diaper?

DW: Danu, what are you doing?
Danu: Oh, I'm making a protest sign.
DW: I thought you were going to a pigfie meet-up.
Danu: Oh, I am. But we're using it as a chance to organize politically.
DW: Organize politically? Are you ABJP owners going to protest the war? Help raise funds for the homeless? Repeal the local taxation laws that are hurting so many small business owners and ruining the local economy? Why, that's great!
Danu: Oh, uh...no. We're protesting the copying of Øinks' sculpts by some new company. Let me show you the post from Sty of Angels.

Danu: Here you go!
DW: Danu, that one on the left is a cow. It isn't even a pig.
Danu: You just don't see it because you're not looking hard enough! Look harder.

Danu: I even picked out a matching handbag for the protest and possible riot!
DW: I see....
Danu: I've got to see if I can't get a weapon from Tinker.

Danu: Good morning, Tinker! I see you got your room all together.
Tinker: Good lord! I'm not even dressed yet.

Danu: I'm going to a political protest, and I was wondering if I could borrow a weapon in case things get dangerous. I've read about some riots, and I want to be sure I'm prepared when the police show up with those shiny plastic shield thingies.
Tinker: Could you please not sit on Bob the Security Blanket? He hates it when people sit on him. He tells me to hurt people who sit on him, and then I have to do it or his voice gets too loud in my head.
Danu: Oh, uh...sure. Say--is that a little bear? I have a little bear just like that.

Tinker: Oh, yes. That's Pawlie. He rather lost his head the last time we had an argument. Excuse his inability to collect himself. Hello, dear Pawlie. Are you well this morning? Ha ha! That's a good one, my dear friend. He says hello to you, Danu.
Danu: You talk to your headless bear?
Tinker: You arrange internet dates for your resin pig.
Danu: Touché.

Tinker: As for your protest, you might find something of use over here. I have a whole assortment of acids and poisons right here on my night table.
Danu: Ooh, the pink one is lovely!
Tinker: That's Pepto-Bismol. I have a tricky tummy. How about this glowing green one?
Danu: That bottle looks empty to me.
Tinker: Well, er...it's magic evil radioactive liquid.

Danu: I swear this day that I shall use this harmful acid to keep safe not just Øinks, but ALL pigfie companies plagued by vicious copies! I pledge myself to this noble pursuit today and henceforth.

Tinker: I really, honestly think I was safer back in the asylum sharing a room with the man accused of eating his victims' hearts out in the middle of the night. At least I understood his motivation.

Dreyer: And so, as you can see, protecting our constitutional freedoms is of vital importance.
Sjöström: So we can squander them on causes that don't matter?
Dreyer: No, no. So we can argue over what constitutes a constitutional freedom on the internet.
Sjöström: Oh, I see. Do you think the crazy guy with the pointy ears will feed us if our owner gets arrested in a riot over resin pigs?
Dreyer: Can I vote for you to stop asking questions?

Want to see Øinks' official response to the copyright infringement scandal? Click here.

 

© Copyright 2006 by Darkwood